This next story is one you can take or leave. At the very least I find it interesting, other times I find it quite meaningful. It requires a bit of background:
Back when I was 18 I was a student leader in my youth group, there was a prophetic seminar going on at the church, so one evening each of us student leaders had the opportunity to be “prophesied” over for 10-15 minutes.
I remember sitting down in the room with 2 women and a man. They had a tape recorder and after praying for a bit they began to speak the things that God was apparently showing them. They then gave me the recorded tape of what they had prayed, and I listened to it and wrote it down in my journal. Periodically I would go back and read the prophecy or listen to the tape. The words vaguely related to my life but never really clicked. Sometimes I would try to make them fit, “Is this what that prophecy meant by balcony?”, but they never did.
Fast forward five years, remember those arguments with my parents I told you about? There were a number of them I got into after I came out and told my parents I thought I could be gay and Christian. Like many Christians they said it was dangerous, that I would eventually walk away from God. That I was headed for a really terrible life and possibly even hell. They wanted me to reign in my attractions and just get with it!
Because I had always held my parent’s opinion in high esteem, there were a number of times after those arguments where I would fall apart and weep in my bed. I would wonder why God was making me go through this and doubt if I was heading in the right direction.
One of those times I asked God to confirm what he had showed me about my homosexuality. Was it really ok? Was I really headed for goodness? Or was I headed for hell?
Later that day I found myself looking through my old journals, hoping they could point me in a direction, or comfort me with nostalgia. I stumbled across the (at that time) five-year old prophecy. I read it, and about halfway through chills started running up my spine;
“A warning for the future, not for anything you have done wrong. I see people trying to put burdens, yokes, on you, trying to conform you to a certain image. They will be people who profess Jesus. They will do these things because they think it’s right, but there is a religious spirit about it that will cramp who you are…(Galatians 5:1) The enemy wants to take your freedom, it could be pharisaical. Could look like something God is doing. Ask for discernment. Lies can take your joy.”
In case you are wondering Galatians 5:1 says, “So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.”
After reading that, I very rarely doubted my direction.
Maybe it’s just coincidence, I mean, the above passage could apply to many people in a number of circumstances. But at that place in my life, it seemed to be just what I had asked for and needed to hear. It also pertained to one of the most important steps in my life, and if there was a God, and if he was going to give me a prophecy, giving me one confirming one of the most challenging decisions I’ve ever made seems like a smart move.
Of course, it could also just be happenstance, albeit an interesting one.
I’m not sure what my parents would think of this, I never told them because I’m pretty sure they would cast it aside since it doesn’t conform to the way they see God and the scripture. It would just be false to them; deception. For those of my readers who also disagree with my view, maybe this doesn’t mean anything to you either. Or maybe you don’t really believe in God or the usual conception of him. Whatever the case, cool! I hope you got something out of it, or that your This-American-Life side of you was entertained. : D Let me know what you think.